Like me, I’m an asshole

Don’t you like it? Click that button!
If you liked it, of course.
But if you didn’t, could you share it
for someone else to endorse?

I liked your picture the other day.
What takes you so long to discern?
You should respond to generosity
if you expect it in return.

Even if I bore you to death,
with my silly, uninteresting stuff,
I think you really owe me,
I took the time to check your crap!

Not that I expected something in return
by being really really nice,
but as far as I’m concerned
you should learn self-sacrifice.

For me, for them, for all of us.
Give us your time and your attention,
which is to say,
give up your life.

Give it to us or you’ll feel terrible
and we’ll make sure you do.
Because your interests don’t matter,
the things you love, we get to choose.

Make no mistake and know this well,
if you let me push you, oh sure I will!
Don’t be resentful when you’re my puppet,
I will love you as I love my Muppets.

What it takes to be compliant
is not just to betray my trust.
Make room for this on your bookshelf
before you go betray yourself.


Liked this poem? There’s a print available at the shop. Click here to check it out.

2017-07-09T00:54:50+00:00 Categories: Poetry|Tags: , |